My Bed and Breakfast diary is my bible, my life, my everything. It was looking a complete mess and had more lines going through the pages than Clapham Junction Station. New bookings, cancelled bookings, dietary requirements, allergies.
It was a busy weekend with all rooms booked. A newly married couple in the large double, a new guest, a single lady, in the small double, and a regular couple in the twin room who been staying with us for years and are part of the family, particularly Geoff the husband who is a fantastic man who can mend and fix anything. Geoff and his wife arrived and settled in, and we were taking them out for a meal that evening in advance appreciation for the job list I had in mind!
The newlyweds were arriving late, and I gave them explicit directions to their room and talked them through the lights, the keys and the temperamental shower (on Geoff’s list). The single lady was due anytime. I was late and flew upstairs to change and reminded Edward that the single lady who had just arrived, was in the double room.
We piled in the car and I breathed a sigh of relief as I looked forward to a quiet meal. I was driving and after a couple of miles, I asked Edward what the single lady was like and was she happy with the room.
“She absolutely loves the room and was surprised how big it was”. Laughing, I replied “She must be a tiny lady if she thinks the small double is large”.
Edward was suddenly quiet before replying, “You said put her in the double, which I did – the large double”.I slammed on the brakes, the car came to a shuddering halt, followed by some relatively strong language. My diary did look a mess, but it clearly stated which room my single lady should occupy. I turned the car around at speed and flew back through the lanes, still shouting that the chances of 3 in a bed when we got home, was a real possibility. Please do not let this nightmare happen – I had this vision in my mind of the conversation that might ensue between my guests – so who wants to sleep in the middle? I swung into the farm gate and rushed upstairs, knocked gently on the guest’s door and after huge apologies, I quickly moved her to her rightful room, which she loved.
– phew! Meeting her for the first time, I could understand why she required a double bed – she was “well built”. The next morning as my lady was checking out, she said:
“Thank you so much for everything Janet – a near perfect stay. The room was lovely, and the breakfast superb- there was just one small problem. As you can see, I am well built and I happened to sit rather too quickly onto the wooden toilet seat and couldn’t move without the toilet seat moving with me – there is a small split in the seat and it
pinched the cheek of my bottom”. With my bottom lip trembling, and fighting back a “cheeky” smile, I said thank you for letting me know and I hoped there was no permanent damage, and I would rectify the problem immediately.
As I waved her car into the distance, I went and found Geoff who hadn’t seen her leave. With a deadpan face, I said that I had a task for him…………
“Could you please help my single lady, as she has a small problem, well in fact it’s quite a large problem. She is upstairs in the small double room walking around with the toilet seat attached to her rear end could you, in the most sensitive way, remove it for her please?”
It’s the first time Geoff has ever refused to do a job for me! Janet
